


In the Hands of a Child

by lalcorn3



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 02:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13471593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalcorn3/pseuds/lalcorn3
Summary: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren knows his time in the First Order is less and less each day, and something makes him realize it even more.





	In the Hands of a Child

_It was unnecessary_ , he thought, _all this violence_.

This time it was a city, albeit a smaller one, but something a little larger than the usual village or settlement the General seemed fond of obliterating behind his back. It seemed that the General was getting bolder. It seemed to Kylo Ren, that his new title as Supreme Leader went completely over Hux’s head. It also seemed that his time as Supreme leader was closer to being cut short.

Ren had already expressed his distaste at Hux’s actions during plenty of diplomatic meetings, but each and every time he suggested an alternative or tried to order Hux into a different course of action, his power over him would slip a little more. It came to the point that Ren would find out about Hux’s actions only after they had happened. This was, despite all his best efforts, the case. Kylo Ren grimaced at the smoldering city and how the architecture, despite the flames and blaster fire, were mostly intact.  
It was a haunting sight, one Kylo Ren thought he was used to, but now it was apparent that this was the last thing he had wanted to happen- to see a city become a graveyard.

He walked slowly forward to the city, waving off his guards who seemed intent on following him in. It was only when he turned to glare at them that they retreated into the transport shuttle. Ren breathed a heavy sigh and returned his eyes to the dead city and walked into the remains of a once vibrant and strong community. He had seen glimpses of the city through holographic snapshots in Hux’s office just before the General would switch them off and all he gathered from those glances was that this was a prosperous place. It was a calm and peaceful place without political connection. He should have done something then, should have expected something like this, but now here he was walking through what he felt was a personal failure. His old master would have punished him for such sentiment, would have lashed him with force lightning, or wreaked havoc and pain in his mind. Snoke, if he were alive, would want Ren to do such things. To burn cities and villages for the sole purpose of inciting fear, and how ironic that the galaxy would learn it this way, that _HE_ was the sole mastermind. It was unsurprising though, he was the new face of the First Order and that meant any decision, whether his or not, would have his face stamped on it.

The smoldering city had his face stamped on it.

His eyes wandered from structure to structure, boots crunching over glass and rubble as he walked. He regarded the dead with somber eyes. Most in the city were blackened by fire, twisted and mangled in mid agony, terror forever cemented in their faces however unrecognizable they had become. He had come to know the look, the fear of dying, all too well. He stopped in the middle of a square, probably what used to be a market and stared up at the statue before him. Its moon-lit shadow cast over him and it felt heavy. It was an elaborate sculpture of a beautiful woman with open arms and what should have been a warm smile of welcome, but instead it was a harsh “Look what you’ve let happen”.  
He knelt before it and couldn’t help but remember the look on the girl’s face after the fight in the throne room.

He almost asked the statue for forgiveness.

He bowed his head, realizing the destruction of his new name, realizing he was too late to change anything now, and the fact that only death would come by his rule. His head snapped up.

There was something there.

He stayed silent, waiting and then it came again. An echo.

_What was that?_

Before he knew it, he was moving further into the city and his heart was racing. There was something here. Here with him. At first, he thought it was the force bond opening again, that Rey would appear before him, but there was still so much noise around him. Too much noise that he almost didn’t catch the next echo.

But he had, he had heard it and now he was running, chasing it.

The city was a maze, but it seemed that he had been here before despite the fact he had never even heard of Scilla Dar. He was running through the ash, running so hard, so desperate, chasing a sound- but what was it? What was he chasing? The questions he asked himself stopped immediately the moment he heard it again, much clearer this time. His heart both sank and skipped a beat. He knew what it was now, the sound. He knew he had to find it. As he dashed through the remains of crumbled homes, he felt something shift at his side, near a pile of vigorously flaming debris. He stopped, knowing he had no time for cover and thrust out an invisible shield as fire lunged at him. It was easy to shield himself from the explosion, but it’s wrath was still palpable, and his ears rang painfully. He walked slowly forward, slightly dizzied, through the fire, keeping his shield up. Once he came to a safe spot away from the heat, he released the shield exhaustedly and held his head as the ringing continued. He scoffed at himself for not being completely on guard, he almost laughed at himself. He breathed slowly as the ringing abated and lifted his head to search the area around him. It was suddenly eerily quiet, save for debris still falling behind him. And then the noise again, but it was drowned out by a distant rumble. In the light of the twin moons, he saw a tower tumbling downward, taking down another structure with it. Kylo Ren waited.

Silence.

He swallowed hard.

Silence still.

His heart sank. Is it gone? He asked himself. His hand, though gloved, must have been white as he clenched it in a tight fist.

Silence… _wait._

He was running again. He had heard it! It was still there! He ran past the enormous pile of debris from the fallen buildings and the dead and the destruction. It grew louder, a cry.

_Where are you?_

He came upon a steep slope of stone stairsteps that lead to an almost untouched vastness of a botanical garden. His breath caught at the sight.

It reminded him of the village on Jakku- the village that held Lor San Tekka.

There were bodies in one large cluster, some embraced in death, others frozen mid scream. Horrified as he was, he did not show it and quickly made his way down the stairs. He heard it again, but this time it was right there in front of him. He frantically surveyed the carnage, listening to the desperate, fearful, confused cry of a child. And then Kylo Ren found the source. A small bundle of blood stained blankets in the limp arms of a woman shot twice through the heart. On shot was lower than the other and Ren though it must’ve been by a miracle the baby in her arms had survived. The child screamed, writhing in its dead mother’s arms, soaked in her blood and Ren stood horrified above the child. He felt a strange pull and his eyes welled. His heart went out to the crying baby girl and then his hands. He gently removed her from cold arms and held the child. Right now, the child’s screams weren’t strong, and he had wondered how it was that he had heard her voice from so far away. It was as if it had been projected- amplified, by something. Almost by instinct, he rocked the child, something he had never learned, but more remembered. She began to calm much to his surprise. Then he cooed to her, urging with soft whispers to stay calm and just like that, cries turned to whimpers that turned to small hiccups. The child opened wet eyes, and searched the strange face above her. It was a miracle to Ren that the child hadn’t started to scream again, he was sure he must’ve been a terrifying image to children elsewhere, but this small child didn’t seem afraid at all, in fact, she smiled ever so slightly. His breath caught, and a small tear ran down his cheek as a small hand reached up to grab his nose.

There was an image that flashed immediately before his eyes, a sense of belonging and then a rush of a power he knew all too well. He was born with it after all.

The baby in his arms gurgled, bringing his focus back to her.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

He knew she would not understand it now what the apology would be for.

Then he wondered what would happen if he set the child back down and walked away. He wondered if it would affect him in the future. If it would affect him at all, but something in him angrily quashed such callous thoughts away, possibly for the first time the light won over the dark in him. No, he would not leave the child. She was inextricably valuable, she was force sensitive, but most of all, she was alive. He felt like he owed it to the mother, whose life The First Order had stripped from her, to keep the child away from the same fate.

“I will be your guardian now,” he whispered.

The baby just looked up at him and suddenly he knew it wasn’t fate or chance he had come here. She was calling to him. He knelt and gently set her upon a patch of soft grass and removed the blood-soaked blankets around her. She seemed well fed and healthy despite having been alone for almost a full two days and he was pleasantly surprised at the resiliency of children this young. He unhooked his cape from his shoulders before tying it into a makeshift hammock that he looped around his shoulders. He placed the baby girl inside and she rested softly against his chest, laying her head atop his shoulder.

“You’re safe now,” he said, slightly disbelieving of his own words.

For now she was safe, for now, but he knew it would be a matter of time before she- no, both would be in danger. The child cooed softly, sounding contented. A small grumble emanated from her and he almost smiled.

“Hungry, are we?”

He looked down at her as she sucked on her hand and then grimaced at the drool glistening on his vest. He had never really held a child before, somehow, and he couldn’t help noticing how tiny she was and the fact he managed not to crush her fragile frame. He was imposing in comparison, a menacing giant with a scarred, gaunt face. He walked carefully back up the stone stairway, through the city, around the destruction. He was extra focused this time, making sure to find the safest route back to the shuttle and to avoid any hazardous situation like the explosion. He made it to the square before stopping, glaring past the harsh lights of his shuttle that illuminated the area he was in.

He would start to construct a plan for when the time came because now, he had a new priority that made all else insignificant.

His guards didn’t know how to react when Kylo Ren walked straight onto the shuttle with a child in his arms. He did not say anything to them, nor did he acknowledge any of them. It was until the bay doors closed behind them that he spoke:

“Send a message to Doctor Tiska that I will need her and a few of her nurses ready to meet me upon arriving.”

“Yes, sir,” answered an officer.

He quickly sat down near the communications table and began to open a frequency.

“Commander, get us back quickly. Make the jump as soon as you can,”

Commander Heskin sat almost mute in the chair staring at such an impressionable sight, until something in Ren’s eyes flickered. Without any other words, the shuttle began its lifting sequences and Kylo Ren turned to walk away, “I will be in the med-bay, nobody is to enter unless they are dying, understood?”

Without waiting for acknowledgement, he left without a further word into the medical bay whereupon he commanded a droid to check the child. It was then a screen near a communications console flickered to life.

“Supreme Leader Kylo Ren,” the voice stated, none to amused.

“What is it, Hux?”

The holographed projection of the General was just as pale as he was in person and Kylo grimaced.

“I was informed you needed Doctor Tiska and her staff?” he asked, bored.

“Why is it, General, that every time I make a damned order, it has to go through you, but I’m unaware of any action you take until it has happened?”

The General paused before speaking, “I do not understand what you are implying, sir.”

Oh he very well did, but instead of press Hux, Kylo repeated his demands.

“Make very sure you get Doctor Tiska. Is that understood?” he sneered.

The General seemed to smirk, “Did the supreme leader get hurt?”

It took every ounce of strength not to unleash his saber on the communications console, but he remembered the child behind him.

“No,” he stated.

Hux seemed slightly displeased at this. Ren let out a tense breath through his teeth.

“Get Tiska, now!” he growled.

Kylo slapped the disconnection button and Hux disappeared from the projector. Behind him the droid beeped.

“Is there anything wrong?” he asked, still angry.

The droid seemed to pick up on the anger and floated back a few inches before beeping.

“Just a year old? And her health?”

Kylo’s tone suddenly shifted more to concern.

“Healthy so far,” the droid beeped out, “but hungry.”

Ren assumed as much, “I don’t suppose we have formula?”

The droid denied but suggested a nutrient solution made from one of the emergency rations.

“Do it, then.”

As the droid mixed the solution, Ren fashioned a bottle from a small glass jar that was narrowed at the top, and the rubber bulb of a clean pipet. He took a suture needle and pricked a hole into the pipet bulb. When the solution had been prepared, it was poured into the glass and the bulb stretched over it. The droid went to give it to the child, but Ren refused.

“I will do it, you have served your purpose.”

The droid beeped a reply and went to its charging station immediately. Kylo Ren lifted the child from the examination table and then took bother and the bottle to one of the resting beds before sitting down, leaning against the wall to position the child properly in his arms. As he looked down at her she bared her gums in a smile and kicked happily as if it had been years since she last saw him, and he was confused. Surely, she would hate him if she knew who he was and who the First Order, under his “reign”, did to her mother. He was terribly guilty holding the infant, but instead of frowning, he lifted the bottle to the child’s lips and watched as she fervently pulled it toward her.

“Eager little thing,” he mused, “and strong.”

It took the child a while before finishing, but once done, looked contented. She babbled for a bit, staring up at him. He had no right to be enjoying this, to be content, in fact he felt like he shouldn’t be because the last thing he had ever wanted was a child. Yet, here he was, cradling a girl in his arms wanting her first word to be- no, he wasn't going to think about it. Yes, he would adopt the child, raise her and train her in the ways of the force, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to while in the First Order. He sighed slightly defeated and watched as the eyes of this little girl softly closed. He didn’t dare move, but he watched silently. What compelled him to hum an old lullaby he used to hear as a child, he did not know. He was so absorbed in making sure she didn’t wake, that he didn’t notice the shift around him.

A hitched breath ripped his concentration from the slumbering child and he looked up almost fearfully, but his face twisted into a snarl.

“Is that a-“ the voice began.

“Ssh,” he hissed quietly.

The woman before him, Rey, had appeared to him may times before, but he wished that she would just leave him be this time, however well he knew neither of them had the power to control it. Rey watched as he looked down at the infant in his arms, something she never thought Kylo Ren would be capable of and he had hummed to it!

“A child?” she asked, bewildered.

“A child.” He answered plainly.

Rey didn’t know if he could tell, but she was slightly hurt, for what reason, she couldn’t figure out. Yet, when she stepped closer, she noticed something that troubled her.

“What happened to its parents?” she asked softly.

His eyes fell back to the baby and she knew immediately what had been their fates.

“You killed them?” she almost yelled.

Ren looked up at her, “They were dead when I found her.”

Rey looked extremely confused to which he huffed and shook his head.

“Not that it matters to you,” he sneered, “you still think I killed them.”

“It was you who ordered-“ she tried.

“It was not!” Ren growled.

The infant stirred and whimpered having been startled from sleep. Immediately Kylo shot Rey a “Look what you made me do” look and she pursed her lips as she watched him soothe the child back into sleep. This act mesmerized her, it confused her and it was throwing emotions into her stomach she hadn’t felt before.

“Who?” she whispered.

Kylo rolled his eyes, “Does it matter?”

Rey cast her eyes away from his face and decided to step closer to get a better look at the baby.

“What will you do with her?”

Kylo was slightly disgusted in her choice of words, as if he’d cast the child into oblivion at a moment’s notice.

“Raise her, obviously.”

Of all the responses, Rey did not expect this. Coming from someone as ruthless as Kylo Ren, the soft remark had been almost a betrayal of his character, but she had seen once this softness and as much as it surprised her, it also did not. Then, a bloom of anger expanded in her stomach.

“The First Order is no place for a child,” she growled.

With a sigh and somber eyes he looked back at her and said, “I know.”

A sudden noise drew both their attentions to the bundle in Ren’s arms and he glanced fearfully hoping she would not cry again, but relaxed when all he saw was a gummy smile. She seemed excited again, her eyes wide with happiness. Ren’s breath caught when he found the baby was staring up not at him, but Rey. She seemed just as surprised.

“She’s force sensitive,” he almost whispered, “She wouldn’t see you right now if she wasn’t.”

He watched Rey move slowly toward them, almost in awe. Had this been the first time she’d seen a baby up front? Rey knelt in front of Kylo, staring at the smiling baby girl. The infant giggled and reached a hand towards Rey’s face and upon touching Rey gasped.

“It’s you!” Rey smiled tearfully.

“What are you talking about?” Ren asked.

“I dreamt of her,” she sniffed, wiping a tear, “many times, she’s older, but it’s her. She’s been calling to me.”

Kylo stiffened, “Calling to you?”

Rey ignored his question and instead let the baby grab her finger, whereupon another gasp exited her mouth.

“She’s been calling to you, too,” she whispered.

Ren hesitated, but lifted a gloved hand to his mouth and pulling it off with his teeth. He remembered countless nights before he had come to the planet, he had heard someone calling to him in his sleep. It was always just a voice.

Another hand reached and grasped his finger and suddenly he was watching a set of flashing images of the near distant future. He was standing beside Rey, a familiar feeling hitting him, and then there was this small child, slightly older, waddling happily toward both of them. And then the little girl called for them using two distinct words neither Rey nor Kylo Ren would have ever dreamed of hearing. Suddenly it was just the two of them searching each other’s faces, breathing heavily.

“Ben-,” Rey struggled, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Kylo, no, Ben Solo trembled. His eyes were on the verge of tears, Rey could see it. All the while the infant had fallen back asleep still holding both their fingers. The vision must’ve lasted longer than it felt. Ben looked down at their hands were resting upon the child’s chest as she held them close. Ben’s fingers had somehow interlaced with Rey’s. They stayed there for a moment before he spoke:

“Please, help me,” he whispered, “I don’t have much time.”

Rey nodded, letting her eyes spill. The bond, they both felt, was closing slowly and although his eyes were frantic, begging for more time, she reassured him.

“We’ll figure it out. I’ll find you both, I promise.”

When she vanished, Ben Solo held the infant closer, tears escaping his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I always had this idea that Kylo Ren as leader would find himself in a situation where he finds an abandoned child and adopts it without thinking. IDK this was going to be a Ben Solo single dad thingy and I might change it later to that, but I came up with this instead, haha.


End file.
